Between Breaths An LL Perspective
by Candy Apple Heart Attack
Summary: One night, L and Light find themselves talking about their first time. They start to retrace those steps and revisit the scene of the crime as the night goes on. LXLight Yaoi.
1. Chapter 1

"Between Breaths (A LL Perspective)"

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note or the Blaqk Audio song from which the title comes from "Between Breaths (an XX Perspective)". I'm using the song as inspiration and that's about it (since I cannot post straight-up songfics in this site). It makes a wonderful soundtrack if you're reading, in my opinion. I just own my thoughts, or at least I like to think so. Sexy song, sexy characters, sexy storyline. Two geniuses – they're bound to make words their foreplay. It is long but there is a payoff worth reading for. Call it PWP if you'd like…I could care less. Two-part one-shot because I'm too lazy to finish it all at once.

**Summary:** One night, L and Light find themselves talking about their first time. They start to retrace those steps and revisit the scene of the crime as the night goes on. LXLight Yaoi.

**Between Breaths (An LL Perspective)**

_Dale, from Candy Apple Heart Attack_

Night had long since settled upon the land, making the moon the ancient ruler at the helm of the starry sky. Both sovereign and bright legion of stars cast a silver glow on the vast expanse of civilization below where most slept and others outwaited the darkness in favor of dawn.

Among those sleepless few were a detective and his partner, both men lying in bed – one typing away into a laptop and the other stared blankly at the ceiling wishing he could fall asleep despite the obnoxious clicking noise of the computer keys. Every once in a while a chain would rattle faintly and cause one man to cut his eyes to the chain and watch it lay still and glimmering between both bodies. There was no lights on in the room except for the computer screen; the faint illumination casting an uneasy glow on the detective's face and the periphery of the bed.

Ever since the detective had cuffed himself to the other man, said man's sleeping habits had changed. A lot had changed for the sleepless handcuffed man. More than he would have ever imagined.

(oo0oo)

Feverish typing muffled the deafening silence of the room and disturbed the peace and quiet in Light's mind.

Clickclickclickclickclick. Clickclickclick. Click. Click click. Click.

The typing stopped suddenly. L looked over at Light who was lost in his thoughts. The young man beside him had his lovely head propped up on a mound of pillows and his hands rested gracefully on his abdomen over the velveteen covers. L had always admired Light's poise and elegance – the precision and easy flow of the brunette's every movement overshadowed his own poise, making him look even more awkward than he really was. Regardless of the gruesome suspicion of murder hanging over Light's head, he still managed to look like an angel sent to earth to take L's breath away.

There were few things that grabbed L's attention other than solving cases and serving as justice's favorite henchman; one of those few things being Light Yagami's beauty, brains and incomparable grace. Why and how the boy did so, he did not know, but Light was so heartbreakingly lovely it was wrong and painful to watch as much as he did.

L called Light's name softly, wanting to ask his friend a simple question or two. Depending on his answer, he would ask some more questions and eventually lead him to the reason of his mini- interrogation. Something productive had to result from his late-night quid pro quo with his equal.

"Light-kun?"

Light's eyes left the patterns of the ceiling to hold the detective in his line of vision. Light shifted his body into a sitting position and leaned his back against the headboard. It was not unusual for L to call on him late at night to ask questions about the case so he was not bothered by the detective in the least bit. He watched L's poker face intently, finding it exotic, unconventionally pretty and a tad frightening. With L, Light never quite knew what to expect – unlike a tennis match, he could not always hit the ball back as soon as L threw it at him…dealing with L was like standing in front of a tennis ball machine with a blind fold trying to hit all the fast balls spouting out of it like a machine gun. If Light did not know better, he would think L was a lean, mean justice machine. The thought unnerved Light, but he was lucky enough to be on equal footing with L on many levels. If the detective could be so precise, so could he. Such was the beauty of their partnership. Light answered in a tone barely above a whisper to L's call.

"Yes, Ryuzaki?"

"Do you remember the first time?"

L's face was close enough for Light to see his face in full detail. The onyx orbs that bore into Light's swirling honey ones were twin crystal lakes that hid myriad intentions under that placid glimmer. The strange nature of the question puzzled Light, causing him to ruffle the chestnut locks of his forehead and ask L what he was talking about.

"The first time for what?"

It was L's turn to look at the bemused brunette; not a hint of emotion gave away his answer and his face took on that familiar statuesque deadpan as he clarified his question to Light.

"The first time we made love, Light-kun."

Light froze at L's statement and images of that first time rushed through the thousand of nerves and synapses in his head, stirring up a torrent of questions and feelings that Light himself had a hard time understanding, let alone explaining. He did not know what to say to L, but he slurred something tactless before he could catch himself in the act.

"Um…not to be a mood killer, Ryuzaki, but our first time hardly counts as 'making love' "

L's demeanor seemed to darken slightly even though his face was the epitome of unwavering calm at Light's cutting comment. The comment should not have affected L as much as it seemingly did, but it stung anyway. He was trying to talk to Light as a more than a friend and way beyond his role as a detective, but somehow Light had screwed up his conversation-starter. And L never started conversations that were not about business. L mentally reprimanded himself for trying to make up for his lack of social skills in the first place - he should have stayed in his protective bubble of callousness and let the matter remain forgotten. L's voice held an intangible edge of hurt pride, but he managed to sound unfazed and collected.

"So, you do remember, then."

Light perceived the sting of L's comment and decided damage control would only infuriate the detective and would probably cause him to go on Kira rant just to get back at him. Light noticed L was trying to be a less-than-dismal human being and have a conversation with him. L's disposition made Light regret the silly words that had wounded the detective's feelings.

"Of course I do."

Light said in a softer, more receptive tone. He hoped L would take the hint and lower his defenses for him to try to talk again. Light hoped he had not thrown away the chance to see L past the pretenses and the detective wiles. Light waited for the messy-haired man to continue his talking.

Light's eyes gave away the restlessness starting to build up inside him as he thought of all that had been said and done the first time L and him had had sex. The thoughts paled in comparison of the real events and words failed to describe the happenings.

L picked up on the brunette's uneasiness and correctly read it as anticipation. He was also thinking about what they had done to and with each other that night that seemed to have happened so long ago. L did not particularly like to admit this to himself, but he had immensely enjoyed that night and had developed some strange feelings that had intensified since.

L's words became tinged with a bitter undertone as soon as they left his marble rosebud mouth. He really did not know why he was getting so guarded and snappy with Light's response at something he himself had started. L did know, but he would rather die several times than admit his feelings point to Light, to the man who could possibly be his best friend and greatest enemy.

"Then, what was it, Light-kun? Was it just a mindless and primal act of interaction between two creatures?"

Light felt the hostility hiding underneath L's words. For someone who was so controlled and blank in his manner, L was reacting badly to something that would have never bothered him otherwise. It was bugging Light to feel his friend so distant from him and regretted missing his change to have an honest conversation with the man. Once again, he tried to appease L and try to coax him out from behind those empty walls he had put around himself.

"I doubt it qualifies as that either, Ryuzaki. I can't rightfully call it 'love-making', but I can't call it 'mindless sex' either. It was more than one, but less than the other…that's all I can say about it. I hope you didn't take my comments the wrong way, I just don't know what to say."

L had heard everything Light had told him, and inwardly accepted Light's apology. Chances were that he would not have known what to say if he were in Light's place either. The dark feelings that had welled up in his mind and mouth dissipated, leaving his words devoid of ill feelings and replaced by the pleasant and quiet lilt he usually switched to when talking to his Light Yagami, the friend and not Light Yagami, the suspected murderer.

"Then, what would you call it, Light-kun?"

Light had expected L to throw that particular question at him, but that didn't mean he knew what to say. He wanted to be truthful with L, but he also had to be careful with what he said. He didn't put it past L to use the topic as yet another ruse to get him to confess he was Kira or something like that. L was not above any dirty trick and Light knew that perhaps too well. There was also the possibility that L was indeed trying to talk him about their odd relationship and he did not want to hurt L's tiny feelings…or whatever was lurking in that lonely heart of his. It was probably pride more than feelings. He stumbled upon his words as he tried to find the most neutral response he could give L while still staying true to his own feelings.

"I…I don't know what to call it. I never bothered to label it, to be honest…"

L straightened up against the headboard as much as his impossibly hunched posture would allow him. He scooted closer to Light, pulling the chain out of his way as to not sit on it. L cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy and his mouth barely moved as he asked with a curious face

"Why not, Light-kun? Was it so meaningless that you did not even bothered to give it another thought?"

Leave it to L to bury the stake in anyone's heart with more brutal honesty than was necessary. It really was no wonder people shied away from him – his approach to conversation were shocking, hurtful and all-around dismal. If there was one word L did not know the meaning of was probably the word 'tact'. This type of straightforward approach was meant to put the target amidst a tough crossroads where L could pick apart his answer from any possible angle. The only way he could get out of that situation was to answer l's question with a question of his own.

"Did we even give it thought before it happened, Ryuzaki?"

L was silent for a moment and brought his thumb to his mouth. The dark-haired man chewed on his finger as he stared at some unknown spot somewhere in the room (as if the room itself was anything more than nondescript). After a long moment he finally gave Light an answer.

"No, Light-kun, we did not. It just happened and we let it take place."

Light was too elated that L had given in to his own question and was a second too quick to answer.

"Exactly. Now stop trying to make seem like a heartless bastard."

Before he had finished speaking, he knew he had screwed himself and left the door wide open for L to make that despicable accusation he was so fond of.

"Kira is a heartless bastard, Light-kun."

The mention of Kira was like clockwork. After all, it seemed like L had indeed taken advantage of the situation to put in his two cents. Light was annoyed to no end by that stupid observation partly because of how often he heard it and partly because it hurt him to be accused of something he was not guilty of by his dear friend. He rebutted L's statement out of irritation, but his voice sounded tired and resentful.

"Goddamnit, Ryuzaki, stop that. I'm not in the mood for that nonsense."

Light sounded like he meant it and L noticed, but he didn't seem to care. Actually, it wasn't so much that he didn't care, it was mainly because it was a habit to accuse Light of being Kira and a defense mechanism to help him wiggle out of the potentially serious conversation he was about with Light. He had started it, but he was a bit apprehensive at continuing it. L couldn't stop what came out of his mouth like a quick-spreading wildfire.

"You think the deaths of hundreds of people at the hands of a psychotic murderer are nonsense?"

Light clenched his fist around the handcuff chain and pursed his lips in a tight line that was a clear indication that his patience was wearing thin. Why did L have to go about ruining a perfectly nice and normal conversation? Light hoped he did not have to physically fight L over that stupid argument to shut him up – he was too tired to fight and he wasn't sure that he'd be able to stop at only one major ass-kicking. He might just kill the other man with a surprise attack instead of a heart attack. Light opted for a verbal warning before using his fists.

"If you don't want to get hurt right now, Ryuzaki, I suggest you lay off on the I-suspect-you're-Kira routine. Tomorrow is another day and you can resume it if you like; right now, I don't want to hear it. Just let me rest."

"There's no rest for the wicked, Light-kun"

Once again, L had not been able to resist the urge to taunt Light. The brunette's venom-coated jab at him made him regret his taunting almost instantly. L's comeback had a perfectly timed delivery – which was what infuriated Light so much. It was as if L sat up every night thinking of ways to turn any innocent remark into a full-blown declaration of guilt. The brunette didn't have a hard time imagining why on earth Kira would want to kill him…in another context, he might have even condoned it.

"Is that why you stay up all night eating your way through a dentist's nightmare and type until smoke comes out of your fingers?"

Light could also be viciously straightforward and he knew how to rub L the wrong way. The invective had been aimed at his childish tendencies and Light's words had done the job. L ended the verbal sparring on the spot before Light could gain enough momentum to vent at him for accusing him with every word.

"I apologize, Light-kun. I will not bring up Kira right now if that is what you wish."

Light ignored the apology and sighed tiredly; he was pleased with his accomplishment: getting L to back off and give him arrest was difficult if not downright impossible. He slid back down into the pillow and closed his eyes, letting his delicate lids extend over his eyes to rest his vision and consequentially his mind. His attempts at talking to L maturely had been a fiasco. The detective often ruined the moments when Light did not hate him – it was almost like a natural talent, second nature. Instances like those made him wish time would side with him so he could get out of being tied to L. It was excruciating sometimes…most of the time, to be honest.

L struggled to get Light's attention focused on him again, but his seemingly disjointed question made Light's eyes flash open. The warm brown eyes of his friend turned to look at him quizzically but his friend's mouth remained unmoving.

"Do you think we made a mistake, Light-kun?"

Light straightened up again and gave L an unreadable look before he launched into a stony-faced rant.

"Ryuzaki, you and I are people who do not make the same mistake twice. If it had been a mistake indeed, we wouldn't have let it happen more than that one time. You and I both hate to be wrong and if this was wrong, why would we do it again and again? Even if the nature of the act itself seems wrong to the eyes of many, it's not how it feels to us…at least to me anyway."

"Do _you_ think it was a fluke, Ryuzaki? Is this why you keep asking me about it?"

Light had struck again and L had no other choice but to be as truthful as he could possibly be. He managed to be truthful enough, but it has a gargantuan effort on his part. He had never told Light a single truth in its entirety…why would he start now?

"No, Light-kun. I did not feel like it was wrong either." He paused and then continued in a more quiet tone, "I think I agree with you – our first time was somewhere between sex and love… there was too much between us for our encounter to qualify as meaningless, but there isn't enough attachment to deem it love-making. I wonder what that makes us, Light-kun…" L paused yet again, "do you wonder too?"

L's face was always uncanny, but when he was finished saying something appallingly honest or downright brutal, his face was almost scary to look upon. The innocence of youth, the shrewdness of innate intelligence and the malice of experience all came together in that porcelain face, turning it into a haunting turbulent mask that never ceased to unnerve.

Light did not know what to think of L's strange declarations. He just didn't know how to handle a sensitive L. He had never had to deal with something of the sort from the man who could have been made of stone for all he knew, but Light had to admit the admission made him feel inexplicably good and satisfied inside; however, it was still a bit disconcerting. A sentimental L was not something he had expected. Not something anyone would have ever expected.

With L, he never quite knew what to expect. He chose his words and spoke them with a control that was almost painful as it was admirable.

"Now that you mention it, I have wondered where we stand as well, Ryuzaki," Light paused to gauge his words and the subsequent reaction they would hopefully elicit, "Are we lovers, fuck-buddies or just a pair of misguided suspect and detective?"

L cringed at Light's rude wording for he liked to keep his conversations free of vulgarity as much as possible. Despite Light's choice of words, his question was an interesting one; the possible answers provided by the brunette being all inextricable from each other yet unsuitable in their nature. They were all wrong, yet they fit into the situation awfully well. It seemed like game of right and wrong they had been playing ever since the Kira case began had taken a more personal turn than it should have, not to mention that it was potentially more damaging and deadly than just heart attacks. The feelings were there, but all he needed was the evidence.

It always came down to the evidence.

Light kept his eyes trained on L, not even blinking lest he missed a key reaction or even the most insignificant twitch. The unruly mane on L's head slid into an even more impossible mess as the detective looked up to respond to Light. L's dark eyes settled on Light's shoulder and stared at the fabric of his pajama shirt. The deep burgundy color of Light's pajamas, L thought, accented Light's skin tone nicely as well as the vivid shade of chestnut his hair had. It was almost as if the imperceptible flecks of gold scattered on Light's hair suddenly came alive and played tricks on L's eyes and mind.

The brown and the gold of his friend made him think of chocolate and honey…two things that L was craving at this late hour all together in one enticing package. The sweet promises held by his friend and the sugary confections called to him like a siren that he could not ignore. The siren's voice was Light's voice.

Light was the honey and the chocolate he craved. Light was exactly what he must have, what he would have.

Light's screams was all the encouragement he needed; his body, the evidence.

L's erotic musings were dashed by Light's handcuffed hand flailing right in front of him, the chain clacking unpleasantly in front of his face. The sound made by the chain was unusually irritating, which made L's own hand lunge to catch Light's and stop the shapely wrist and equally shapely hand from rattling the blasted chain.

L's pallid fingers wrapped around Light's wrist like a second handcuff and held the golden hand in his grasp for more seconds than it was necessary and examined the inside of Light's wrist. The skin was smooth and it had a shade of softened white; there was a single light pink bruise forming around the wrist from the pressure of the handcuff. Otherwise the wrist was perfect and the shadows of the blue veins trailed up his arm like vines and rivulets of life. It was interesting to note about the specific blue hue of light's veins – it almost seemed like his blood was really blue. Blue like royalty, blue like God.

"Well?" Light took back his hand and managed to bring L back from his stubborn thoughts. L blinked as if dazed and suddenly his thoughts went back to the topic at hand. L's mouth twisted into the ghost of a smile and sighed Light's name and the honorary in a whisper that was uncharacteristic of the stoic detective…it was _almost_ sexy.

"Ah, Light-kun… I think it is a bit of all three. At least that is how it seems to me…" L paused and looked down at his handcuffed hand, flexed the fingers and went back to speaking to Light, "the second choice sounded a bit too crass for my liking, but that does not stop it from being true"

Light giggled at L's issues with crude language, but he stopped abruptly and the sudden mirth drained off his face.

"Ryuzaki, why would you bring this up now? Maybe I'm missing something here, but I don't see your reasons for discussing this matter at the present time"

Their conversation had gone back to their first time. It was not the first argument that had taken several bizarre turns before going back to the root, and it was not the last. This time, Light wasn't catching up with the argument…he couldn't really think why L would bring up the subject, unless…

"Let's just say that I was replaying the scenario in my head, trying to find out what we are, what that was and where we stand, Light-kun…"

So it was what Light had thought it might be. The only reason as to why L would ask those questions could only mean he meant to revisit that particular scene as he would revisit any crime scene, scouting for any tiny sliver of evidence left behind and overlooked. Perhaps L wanted to get to the bottom of why they had ended up together as they had – it certainly would explain all the other questions he had asked Light. The only way to get answers was to start at the beginning.

He was curious as to what conclusion or crackpot percentage L would come up with to explain their undeniable attraction and lust for each other. That should be interesting.

"What did you find, Ryuzaki?"

Light's voice came out as a seductive whisper as thick and sweet as butterscotch veiled in layers of feigned innocence. Light's tone made L's spine straighten a little and his body was subject to warm tremors running from the top of his skull down to his curled toes.

It was cumbersome for L to restrain his actions and feelings. He wanted to close the gap between his body and Light's with one agile jump, but he had to keep his emotions under control – over a decade of keeping his cool was not going to be ruined by a raging hormone surge.

"I did not find any more than we have already discussed. Our first time was a special circumstance, thus leaving us in an unusual place."

Light chortled at L's statement and dangled the handcuff chain in front of L's unwavering face.

"Try awkward."

L was silent and shrugged at the comment. To him, the handcuffs were just a method of finding an answer that kept slipping through his fingers. No answer that he could offer Light was going to appease him – the boy had whined endlessly about the whole idea of being confined to having L violate his privacy in such an extreme manner.

"Yes, well, this isn't my idea of attachment to a person, per se, but it seems to be yours" Light mumbled darkly and his eyes shifted side to side glancing at the darkened room with peripheral vision, "Special circumstance indeed."

Light was expecting some stupid comment about him being Kira because of his dislike of the handcuffs, but a curve ball was thrown at him when L did not make a jibe about the genocidal maniac he was so obsessed with.

"In truth, Light-kun, my thoughts were not exactly looking for answers…"

Light struggled to connect his disjointed thoughts with his words and finally managed to slur something that was coherent enough to make sense, but obvious enough to warrant a laugh from L.

"So, you mean to tell me you were just replaying what happened inside your head for the sake of remembering what we did, Ryuzaki?"

L actually smiled (or attempted to and consequentially ended up looking like a demented harlequin) and chuckled rustily

"I guess I was. I guess I just want to know how and why it happened. As you might know, I have never ventured into those domains of human character and thus I do not quite know how it all works. Emotions and behavior of that kind is just unknown to me, Light-kun. Top detective or not, I have to admit that I am a failure at relationships of any kind."

Light almost smacked himself on the forehead – a rude L he could deal with, a sensitive L he could find a way around, but the self-deprecating, self-pitying L he had just seen was someone he did not want to even think about. It was almost as if a woman was fishing for compliments by putting herself down. Light saw the ruse, but he fell for it anyway.

"You're not that terrible, Ryuzaki. Yes, you're pretty bad and I cannot explain how the hell we have managed to get along even though we butt heads so often, but you're not a complete failure; you just need a ridiculous amount of practice at social interaction. At least you have one friend next to you, you know…"

Light nudged L softly on the ribs and let his eyes rest on L's own, unhooded and unguarded. He wanted to show L he was being truthful. Flashes of that bygone time when he had yelled at L to look into his eyes to see the truth of his innocence reflected on them were floating around in his head, making him feel as vulnerable and weak as he had felt that day. Lowering his guard in front of L was the unthinkable – do it at the wrong time and danger would claim you.

L looked away from Light's eyes and spoke to the blank wall as if Light did not exist and was not sitting next to him on the bed.

"I suppose that is true, but you didn't have much of a choice when it came to befriending me, Light-kun. I have, in a way, imposed myself on you…"

Light was thankful L was a total failure at human behavior and emotions – if this is what he would have to put up with on a consistent basis if L had the approximated feelings and thoughts of an average sentient being, he would probably have to contact Kira himself and beg him to put a stop to it. The genius' regression was beyond all levels of annoying, but Light ignored it because it was a transient hissy fit. All he could do was be rude and try to snap him out of that pathetic state and keep going.

There was also a possibility that it was just a ruse to get something out of Light. Either way, Light said the same thing he was going to say.

"Okay, Ryuzaki, listen: I haven't become your friend just because I'm permanently stuck to you because you don't trust me…If anything, those facts alone should have discouraged me from befriending you and should have made me a lot less cooperative with you and your investigation. However, I have chosen to rise above many of your infuriating antics and I have come to consider you a friend. You're not made of stone and I know that…perhaps better than anyone else, Ryuzaki, so, get over yourself."

L just stared at Light with his jaw hanging slightly, leaving his mouth opened in a tiny 'o'.

"What gives you the impression that I have any human emotions, Light-kun?"

Light wanted to make some witty comment about L acting like a little mopey teenage girl with next to no self-esteem, but he held his tongue and decided not to ruin the moment. He told L the truth of what he felt, knowing that L would not know how to deal with his words.

"When I kiss you, your cold skin warms up almost instantly; when I caress you, you voice your pleasure with unguarded expressions and cute little sighs; when I undress you, your eyes are not longer blank and empty but full of desire;" Light took a breath and it hitched in his throat, " when I ride you, you shudder and you claw at me wanting more; when you lie next to me completely spent, you smile sweetly and your face becomes alive and warm;" He paused and took L's flabbergasted face in his warm hand "when I tell you you're beautiful, your eyes shine brighter than the Tokyo skyline. When we're 'making our mistake', Ryuzaki, you become human just like everyone else… and it's beautiful to see – whether it is the first time or the thousandth time."

L was deathly still and Light grazed the detective's jaw with his thumb. As it was expected, L did not know what to say. L's hoarse whisper of Light's name brewed up a storm of chills deep within Light, making him shudder.

"Light-kun, I –"

"What, Ryuzaki? Are you embarrassed that I can see right through you in those moments? Are you surprised that you can feel those types of feelings even though you have chosen to remain detached from that part of yourself?" Light's hold on L's face strengthened as he continued to speak to L. "Guess what, Ryuzaki? I know you have feelings and I see them clearly when one of us is underneath the other coaxing them out with kisses and touches. You can withhold information about the case and about yourself from me, but you cannot hide your humanity from me. I have feelings too, Ryuzaki, and I am not afraid to show them to you."

Light noticed L's hands clenching at his sides, one hand clamping around the handcuff chain and the other hand bunching up the bed sheets into his fist. It was a sign that Light had finally breached L's Trojan walls and that the man behind them was going to listen to what he had to say and go with the flow. He felt L's throat constrict and his fingers caressed the twitching windpipe involuntarily. L shuddered.

"If I am guilty of one thing, Ryuzaki, it is of admitting you are my weakness."

L couldn't breathe. Light's honesty was choking him and making him lose all his precious control. All his deductions became mere threads of irrelevant thoughts, all his percentages vanished into the nothingness of zeroes and his composure fled his body without any indication that it would come back eventually. Light was too close for comfort, but that didn't mean he wanted the younger man to back away. He wanted his friend close, his enemy closer, and his lover with him.

"How am I your weakness, Light-kun?" L managed to ask without stammering or crying out for Light's touch. Light was touching enough for him to want more contact, but he was far enough to tease L with the lack thereof. Fear of losing control was the only thing keeping L from throwing himself at Light. His mind was going insane with all the conflicting thoughts bombarding him all at the same time.

"Even if we are chained together 24 hours a day, I still want more of you… I want you all the time, Ryuzaki, whether you notice or not. Sometimes I might seem like I'm hard at work, but I'm actually replaying our encounters in my mind and hoping we have one later that day…"

Light crawled out of the covers and moved closer to L until he was kneeling before the detective. L was afraid to even breathe, but he shifted his weight and crouched on top of a pillow. This made his face stand on equal level with Light's.

L moved his face close to Light's and whispered in the brunette's ear

"I didn't know you felt that way, Light-kun"

Light wanted to melt into a puddle at the heat of L's breath and he whispered against the alabaster cheek of his lover

"Now you do, Ryuzaki"

For minutes, neither man moved from their places; L's mouth was still pressing lightly against Light's ear and Light's cheek was still a millimeter away from touching L's. Neither man dare to go any further nor pull away. They were entranced by the sound of each other's breaths and the heat their bodies produced.

L broke the silence.

"Light-kun, can I ask you a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Would help me reenact a case?"

Light couldn't think of what to say…only of what he would like to do to L, therefore his response was rather dumb.

"Uh…sure. Which one?"

L's tongue darted out from his lips and brushed the shell of Light's ear. He murmured

"Our case. Our first time."

Light groaned and clamped his hands on the back of L's neck, his fingernails scratching the skin of the nape. L sighed at the contact and Light could barely contain his desire as he asked

"Where do we start, Ryuzaki?"

L put his hand on the small of Light's back and lifted the hem of his night shirt to caress the heated skin.

"Why, at the scene of the crime, of course."

**Author's Note:** The rest of this…um, story, will be posted as soon as I get my thoughts together and write out the end – the dialogue has already been written, all I have to do is fill in the narrative. I did as a two-part one –shot because it would take forever to finish and I really wanted to post something after not having done so for a while. Besides, I just went through an ugly moment, so writing was the only way to get rid of that train of thought and go back to pseudo normality. Sorry for the sexy cliffie.

And for that vapid little flamer that was plaguing Chip's Fairytale Ending with nasty comments, I'm going to ask her un-nicely to stop leaving such hateful, repetitive and pathetic comments about how Chip cannot write at all and how she can do better than my sweet chipmunk. It's downright pathetic how that dumb guttersnipe cannot even make sense and yet attempts to criticize a work like Chip's that is flawless and entertaining. Her writing is ten times better than mine and yet I don't see that "sucky ho" flaming my writing…AND JUST BECAUSE YOU SYMPATHIZE WITH THE SCHIZO KLUTZ THAT IS MISA ON A PERSONAL LEVEL AND TAKE GRAMMAR LESSONS FROM HER DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO JUDGE SUCH IMPECCABLE WRITING SO UNFAIRLY AND HATEFULLY. I wouldn't have such a problem with this if Chip had done something wrong or if the bitch was making sense and making a fairly decent point, but all of these motives are clearly absent. Forgive me darlings for going off like this, but it had to be said. Jenngrl, if you're reading this, I hope you got my message and NEVER EVER fuck with what is dear to me. It's just a story, get over it.

For further reference, I don't hate Misa…just the bitch who cannot discern constructive criticism from aimless and ridiculous ranting. Misa is tolerable, in my opinion. I hope it rains lettuce on you, flamer. Burn in rabbit food hell.

Sorry for the rant, folks. You will hear no more of that from me…for now.

-Dale.


	2. Chapter 2

"Okay

**Disclaimer:** It would be fun if I owned L and Light but I don't. I also don't own the song which inspired me to write, which is just sad. Ideas are bulletproof and kind of mine, if you know what I mean. You probably don't.

Anyway, if you don't like Yaoi, why are you here? And if you do, welcome back. By the way, thank you to all those people who take their time to review positively and those who have put this story in their Alerts. We love you guys and we hope to see you often! Enjoy!

**Summary:** One night, L and Light find themselves talking about their first time. They start to retrace those steps and revisit the scene of the crime as the night goes on. LXLight Yaoi.

* * *

**Between Breaths (An LL Perspective) Part Two**

_Dale, from Candy Apple Heart Attack_

"_**Light-kun, can I ask you a favor?"**_

"_**What is it?"**_

"_**Would help me reenact a case?"**_

_**Light couldn't think of what to say…only of what he would like to do to L, therefore his response was rather dumb.**_

"_**Uh…sure. Which one?"**_

_**L's tongue darted out from his lips and brushed the shell of Light's ear. He murmured**_

"_**Our case. Our first time."**_

_**Light groaned and clamped his hands on the back of L's neck, his fingernails scratching the skin of the nape. L sighed at the contact and Light could barely contain his desire as he asked**_

"_**Where do we start, Ryuzaki?"**_

_**L put his hand on the small of Light's back and lifted the hem of his night shirt to caress the heated skin.**_

"_**Why, at the scene of the crime, of course."**_

(0o0)

Light and L were standing by the door of the bedroom close enough to kiss, but not touching each other. However, the absence of contact between them did not mean they weren't yearning to lay their hands on each other's bodies. The silence of the room was punctuated by their heaving breaths and Light's stammering as he tried to shyly bridge the distance between suspect and detective.

"Okay. We're standing at the crime scene now…what's next?"

L took a decisive step closer to Light and whispered against the younger man's shoulder, careful not to touch the frazzled and aroused brunette. If he did, he was bound to ruin his own scheme unless Light ruined it first with his passionate impatience.

"We act out every single action the perpetrators took, Light-kun. Every one of them."

Light flinched at L's last words and clenched his fists at his sides almost painfully. If he didn't have something to gain from playing by L's rules, he would just yank the candy ass detective and pin him against a wall or something. But seeing as he stood to gain more than just pleasure and satisfaction from L and his games, he subjected himself to painstakingly following the script of their first time. Either way, that time was among his favorite encounters with the genius detective so it wouldn't hurt to re-live it. It would feel fantastic, come to think of it.

"What did perpetrator one do, Ryuzaki? Would you kindly remind me?"

Light demanded of L more than he asked of him. Light wanted L to recount each movement and word they had said and done just to see if L would have the courage to utter such intimate declarations out loud. Maybe he was deranged after all, but L's discomfort was a strong aphrodisiac that tickled all of Light's dark desires. Light wasn't doing a very good job of playing coy with L, but then again, who could when their mind was so rotten with nasty fantasies and twisted yearnings?

L hooked the thumb of his free hand on the waistband of his loose jeans and adopted a relaxed stance that looked like anything but relaxed to Light – the way L's hip was cocked to one side and one foot was in front of the other screamed dirty deeds. Too bad their little game couldn't be rushed, so lunging at the lanky detective like a bird of prey would have to wait. What a shame.

"The first perpetrator moved close to perpetrator number two and took hold of the handcuff chain, like this" L wrapped the chain around his hand several times as he got closer and closer to Light, then continued to speak to the excited brunette, "And then he yanked the second perpetrator closer to him." L pulled the chain roughly for emphasis, making Light stumble and crash against his chest.

Light's hands immediately gravitated toward L's chest and abdomen, rubbing and scratching at the fabric and the underlying flesh. L let out a strangled groan from his constricting throat and clamped his hands on Light's forearms as if to keep the brunette's hands where they were, even though his serious case of tactile oversensitivity was acting up and Light's touch was becoming more overwhelming than pleasurable. Satisfied with the response he was getting from L, Light dared to speak, all the while keeping his mouth inches away from L's chest.

"So, then perpetrator two became alarmed and pushed perpetrator one against the wall" Light shoved L against the nearest wall more forcefully than necessary, but L did not complain. "But the first perpetrator reacted quickly, grabbed the second perpetrator by the shoulders and slammed _him_ against the wall, right?"

L gripped Light's forearms even tighter and swung Light to one side, all the while propelling himself off the wall with one foot. L pushed Light back and the brunette was slammed into L's previous place against the wall. The flow of the move was flawless and lightning fast; Light was astounded into silence and all he could do was stare into L's burning coal eyes. The snarling mouth below the burning eyes hissed at Light

"Right, Light-kun. Now, what happens after that?"

Light was struggling to remember what had happened next – not because he had a bad memory, but because he was fending off a thousand wishes at once as he racked his brains for a clue on what was next.

Then it hit him…and it left him breathless.

"Perpetrator one kissed perpetrator two hard in the mouth."

L smiled deviously and brought his lips close to Light's; so close they grazed the brunette's trembling ones as he asked

"How hard, Light-kun?"

The rubbing of lips and the pressing of bodies made Light's heart pound so loudly it hurt his ears to hear it; the intense warmth of L's breath coming from his lukewarm lips was causing Light to grind his hips against L's, thus eliciting a warning grunt from L. That clearly wasn't part of the script, regardless of how heavenly it felt.

"Very hard…"

Light did not even have fortitude to end his sentence decisively; he simply trailed off and awaited L's oral attack like a suicidal maniac awaiting his death. He weighted the outcomes of beating L to the punch line against those of going with the flow and decided the latter had better odds. He dared not risk L getting angry and abandoning the reenactment. God forbid.

"Like this?"

Light had no time whatsoever to respond to L's question. As soon as the words were said, the detective smashed his mouth to Light's and wasted no time in pushing his tongue past the brunette's lips to stake his claim on its sweet host. Light remembered that L had not known how to kiss him the first time; however, the ferocity and possessiveness with which he had done so that time had overridden Light's concept of good kissing completely.

To Light, a kiss was no longer about the right moves… now, it was about the feelings and meaning behind it. L's kiss had not only accomplished that feat, but it had also erased any memories of earlier kisses and caresses. L's lips had irrevocably burned themselves a place in Light's soul and there was no other person the brunette would rather have.

Light had drowned in the passion of the kiss that first time and he had not failed to do so again. He kissed the detective back just as ardently, letting his body and desires take over his mind and command the kiss. Light swallowed a gasp at seeing that L had his eyes fully open as he was kissing him. Light's reaction was to pull back, but L held him close and his restraining embrace kept Light locked into place. The brunette closed his eyes again, but all he managed to see was flashes of L's wide eyes as he kissed him. Disturbing and gorgeous, all in one socially awkward, sugar-coated package.

Light's breathing faltered and his body sagged against L's. The older man crushed Light against the wall with his body to keep him from falling, but the reaction of Light's body to his own almost caused L to falter too. The tension was far too great and the restraints were fading fast.

L pulled his mouth away from Light's so they could both breathe and Light whispered into L's ear between breaths

"Yes… something like that…"

L chuckled awkwardly and the alien sound of his voice expressing mirth alarmed the detective. He stopped chuckling, but Light kissed the hollow of L's throat and chuckled himself. He would admit that L laughing was unnerving at best, but the intimacy and the truthfulness with which he laughed touched Light's heart deeply. Those unearthly sounds trapped inside the detective didn't sound half as bad to Light when they were unguarded and spontaneous. They were far from being silver bells, but who needed something beautiful when he could have something truthful?

"So, Light-kun…what did perpetrator two do after perpetrator one kissed him?"

Light came back from his thoughts and looked up at L. His mind drew a blank on L's question for a fraction of a second, but he was back on track just as fast and responded

"Perpetrator two was confused, but he kissed perpetrator one back."

At which he smiled and moved his lips down L's cheek, leaving a trail all the way to the mouth. L stopped Light at the corner of his lips with a question.

"How did he kiss perpetrator one, Light-kun?"

That was easy enough. L felt Light's mouth stretch into a grin and his honey voice resonate against the sensitive skin.

"He kissed him just as hard as he had kissed him" Light's lips smothered L's and the detective felt his mind shut down and his body kick into high gear. The skill and the ardor in each of Light's flicks of his tongue and movements of his lips were inexplicable to L – it should be impossible to be this arousing and amazing at kissing. The numbers and probabilities just didn't add up. The simple act of Light moving his lips against his was love-making in itself; the movements were so intimate and exciting that L was blushing a deep crimson, helpless and lost to Light's maddening ministrations.

"Then perpetrator two grabbed perpetrator one by the hem of his shirt and wound his arms around the waist of the first perpetrator"

L's blushed only deepened when he felt Light's warm and nimble hands shock the cold skin of his back and sides to life. Each nerve was electrified with the promise of sex and the caresses of Light's hands over the skin fed those promises to dangerous heights. L was near screaming from the insane mix of pleasure and autistic discomfort spreading like contagion all over his back. The overall sensation was that of needles, tickling and fire all happening simultaneously, which, if he was terminally insane, would be somewhat bearable.

Light's throat emitted a deep chuckle and his voice taunted L, asking, demanding to know what he was feeling.

"Did perpetrator one react to the other's actions, Ryuzaki?"

L's eyes widened even more at the suggestion of having to describe his bodily reactions. The simple thought of that petrified him to the point of not being able to breathe. Nevertheless, he stepped up to plate because it was in his personality to face challenges, no matter how tough they were. If Light wanted to hear something embarrassing, he'd give him something embarrassing…and sexy?

"Oh yes…" L modified his tone to an almost accurate approximation of a suggestive tone, "Perpetrator one was squirming and sighing in the embrace of the second perpetrator -- that's not to say that perpetrator two wasn't reacting to having the first perpetrator so aroused and vulnerable in his arms" and with an admirable ease he turned the tables on Light and forced him to return the favor.

"True, Ryuzaki. In fact, he was so overwhelmed by the feeling that he tried to tear off the first perpetrator's shirt, but he had forgotten about the handcuffs that bound them together" Light clawed at L's shirt and tried to pull it up brusquely, but as he had mentioned, the handcuffs were the biggest obstacle to his goal. L wasn't making it any easier for the brunette – he kept his arms down at Light's hips and refused to budge until Light took the next step. L's unspoken refusal to cooperate was doing wonders for the short fuse of Light's momentary temper.

Light's irritation level was quickly rising, but he kept his cool lest he actually murdered the detective. He exhaled loudly and smirked at the detective who was just waiting to pounce on his cornered prey. L smirked back as awkwardly as he usually did and Light hissed through his teeth and his leer

"And that's when the first perpetrator pushed away from the second one and shoved his hand in his pocket, looking for something…isn't that right?"

Light could say he just wanted L to uncuff him just so he could throw himself at the detective, but it went deeper than that. Just the fact that he would not be restrained and bound to L by his wrist made him eager to see the detective follow his words – Light could use his momentary freedom to exert power over L and to manipulate the situation as much as he possibly could. It was the rush of freedom coupled with his desire to attach himself to L in any other means but his wrist that kept Light on his toes; every muscle taut with anticipation, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

L took a hasty step back from Light and fumbled for the key somewhere inside of his jeans pockets. It did not help that his mind was racing way faster than his hand was; his reflexes were sharp and fast at all times, but they seemed to have slowed down to the point of agitated clumsiness. He knew which pocket the key was in, but his fingers weren't responding to the clear commands his mind was bellowing at them – it seemed all they wanted to do was just stumble up and down Light's body. With good reason too.

L finally got a hold on the handcuff key and Light mumbled "Yes…" involuntarily and nearly incoherently. He really wanted those handcuffs off and L on him. He had had enough patience back then when it was the first time, but his patience and restraint had worn thin every time since then. In the time they had been sleeping together, each encounter was even more frenzied and more demanding – the more time passed, the stronger his urge to hold L in his arms and behold his ugly beauty became. Back then, they had had all the time in the world to explore each other…now time was not enough to enjoy and appreciate each other. Every time their clothes were coming off, Light got the foreboding feeling that things would eventually come to a disastrous end and each time he felt that way, he fought with all his wits to banish the thought.

Being without L was something he did not want to think about, regardless of their different personalities and their polarized attitudes.

"What was it, Light-kun?"

It was a rather dumb question to ask Light, but the brunette did not even bother to process the stupidity of the question and answered it with half his mind on other things that involved a very naked L with a very sore throat.

The other half was trying to destroy the evil thought of a bitter end. The naked thoughts easily won the battle.

"A key. It was a key to open the handcuffs. Perpetrator one was going to free the both of them in order to continue what they were doing"

L raised his free hand, holding the handcuff key daintily for Light to see. The way he held the tiny key made it look as if the key was simply balancing on the very tip of L's thumb and index fingers. L approached Light and twisted his face into what he thought was a sneer, murmuring low and deep against Light's temple

"Very good, Light-kun. Very good."

Light swallowed painfully and leaned his head against Light's face seeking the familiar warmth of the man's breath.

"And what did perpetrator one do with the key, Light-kun?" L asked nonchalantly even though he was feeling anything but nonchalant. Light's voice was unsteady and somewhat audible. His response could have been more elaborate and articulate, but he only trusted himself to state the obvious without stumbling over his words like a bumbling idiot.

"He used it to uncuff himself and the other perpetrator"

L twisted his fingers around Light's chestnut locks and grazed the back of Light's neck as slowly as his shaky hand could move. It wasn't very slow, but it seemed to egg Light on. If Light wasn't physically fit as he knew the younger man was, L would have wagered all of his money that Light would have hurt himself squirming and trembling like he was.

Light felt L's hand circling his wrist and two tinkling clicks followed L's touch. He felt the weight of the cuff drop from his achy wrist and then he felt L rub his sore hand and release it gently. L stepped away from his lover and flicked the key twice inside the cuff. The manacle slipped off L's slim wrist and clattered to the floor noisily, making both men jumpy and overeager to get thing going. Light sidestepped the iron snake on the floor and closed the gap between his body and L's.

"And what happened after that, Light-kun?"

L slid his hands over Light's elbows and up to his shoulders, letting his shaky fingers linger there. Light gave the detective a soft smile and he offered triumphantly

"…perpetrator two finally pulled off Perpetrator one's shirt off and threw it somewhere…"

L seemed to find Light's joy incredibly amusing and he laughed as light's hands went for the kill and began to pull his white shirt every which way with the intent of getting off as soon as possible. Light squealed victoriously when the shirt was off – this time L's arms collaborated and Light was able to remove the shirt without having to resort to tearing it. Life was good.

L would be the first to admit that Light squealing was something to laugh about. It just didn't add up.

"Where, Light-kun?"

Light tossed the shirt someplace and rolled his eyes at L. He wasn't interested in where the shirt had fallen…he was only interested in knowing where both of them would be falling.

"Oh, I can't recall, Ryuzaki…it doesn't matter right now"

L would have pursued the silly argument until Light hurt him physically, but he was way too wound up to taunt Light. He wanted to get to the action just as much as Light wanted to.

"You're right this time, Light-kun…" L sighed when Light's fingers traced his crooked spine and tickled the dip of his lower back. "Pray continue…Can you recall what perpetrator one did in retaliation?"

The dark-haired man rubbed the back of Light's ears with his thumbs and made the brunette shudder and bury his face in the crook of L's neck. Two weeks ago, L had found a new erogenous zone in Light's body and he had been surprised to find it was the back of his ears. L had been even more surprised to find out Light would pant and moan so much at such an inconspicuous touch, but he had…it had been difficult to explain to Matsuda-san that Light hadn't been hurt during the night.

Try awkward.

"Perpetrator one lunged at the second one and began to suck at his neck."

Light was preparing himself mentally for what was about to happen. He hadn't been ready the first time and it had caught him by surprise. This time he wanted to be ready and hopefully enjoy it more this time around.

"Was he gentle or was he vicious?"

"Vicious…very...vicious…" Light was shuddering, wanting L to hurry up and sic his mouth on his tensed up neck. There were muscles jumping and twitching as Light awaited the teeth, but the detective was taking his sweet time. What a bastard.

"Was it as vicious as this," L dashed forward in with blinding speed and sank his teeth into the most tender spot of light's neck. Light screamed even louder than the first time with his eyes shut out in pain and that undeniable feeling of vulnerability. What hurt the most was that he was comfortable with that feeling and that wasn't right. He wasn't a victim, he had refused to be so all his life, but somehow, the darker side of him was reveling in this masochistic slavery. For someone who ate so much soft sweets, liquids, and sugary junk, his jaws were pretty powerful and his teeth were sharper than he would have ever guessed.

"Or less vicious?"

L relinquished his fanged hold on the pained brunette and admired the bruise he had made. The pristine purple and red mélange of broken blood vessels so perfectly shaped made L proud of his handiwork…or was it mouthywork?

L reverted to his predatorial mode, but this time, he picked a spot on the other side of Light's neck and exerted the right amount of pressure on the younger man's flesh. According to his calculations, if he combined the right amount of force and the right amount of suction, he would have Light expressing his contentment loudly and clearly. It would be cumbersome to explain to the task force why Light had been making such a racket all night, but it was worth it if it satisfied his craving for sweet flesh and ragged breaths.

And according to Light's calculations, L's calculations were on the money. The oncoming pleasure and the receding pain made for a chaotic chiaroscuro that dragged him under a sea of bliss, nothingness and euphoria. He made no move to stop the collision of stimuli except to hold on to L as he drained his will away with that candy mouth and that iron resolve.

"…ah…just like that, Ryu—zaki…" Light's strangled groans were interrupted by sharp gasps at irregular intervals. Light was too far gone to keep up a rhythm of any kind…the only rhythm worth keeping up with seemed to be a thousand light years away. They were only at the neck biting.

Light groaned in defeat and held L closer to him. L's lips widened in a grin and he flicked his tongue elegantly and traced the newly forming love bite.

"Ryuzaki?"

Light HAD to speed things up somehow. Luckily for him, the script was picking up and he had enough strength left in him to push forward.

"Yes, Light-kun?" L's nonchalant lilt was back and his eyes were once again placid lakes of deathly stillness. A earth-shattering shudder gripped his spine and pulled it in every impossible direction. Light had to re-learn how to breathe in the tight space of a second just to be able to say

"The first perpetrator lifted the second one from the floor and dumped him on the bed."

L ruffled his black mop of hair as if clueless and took on a condescending manner with the man in his arms. If he riled Light up just before the act, he was guaranteed the ride of his life. Light despised being talked down to…but in a way, it was inevitable because he would be seme and Light wouldn't. it was a good thing he wasn't fair when it came to getting what he wanted.

"Did he now? Oh yes, I remember now…" L cooed softly as he touched his nose to Light's, "It was something like this…" L hooked his arms around Light's waist and sprinted to the bed with the brunette in tow. L kicked off the floor with an agile little jump that led to Light landing on his back on the bed and L landing right above him.

"Wasn't it?"

The pervert in Light finally came forward, and with it a change of attitude, tone and overall demeanor.

"…oh…Yes, it was like that…and then perpetrator two kissed number one again because he was so fired up…"

If a normal Light kissing him was mind boggling, a perverted Light with a nasty intent to defile his mouth was to die for. L couldn't help but praise him in between Light's kisses that seemed to be more like violations of his mouth.

"You're very good at reenacting, Light-kun…you make a fine detective – you can even replace me one day and no one would be the wiser…now tell me," L traced light's lips with his tongue as if he was licking syrup of a ripe strawberry, "How did perpetrator two feel when perpetrator one straddled him and proceeded to take off his shirt?"

God bless small mercies – his clothes were finally coming off. Light rejoiced at the prospect and wasted no time in responding.

"When the first perpetrator did that, the second groaned, let go of the one above him and raised his arms to speed up the process"

Light's voice was hoarse and he groaned as he said he would and L smoothed Light's satiny shirt, his fingers seeking the small round buttons so they could be undone. Light reluctantly let go of L and raised his arms as high as they would go. As if he needed to fly – being trapped underneath L was heavenly enough.

"Could you demonstrate the sounds made by perpetrator two, Light-kun?"

"Yes…"

Light let the bottled up guttural moans escape his mouth and his efforts were redoubled when L started to nibble at his Adam's apple while he unbuttoned his pajama shirt without looking. If Light hadn't known better, he would have missed L's unearthly but sexy groans…Light had never been turned on by the sound of a zombie, but he would have to reconsider his position on the issue.

"Very good, Light-kun…they sound just like the originals."

And L wasn't lying when he said it…surprisingly. If Light kept it up, he would probably reach his climax without reaching his goal. God forbid, though the idea was interesting…maybe some other day.

"There's more, Ryuzaki…"

L's clueless look was complimented perfectly by the tiny O shape of his mouth, making his face look like some sort of misshapen angel. Light wanted to giggle at the odd cuteness of the scene, but he swallowed his laugh in favor of swallowing other things later on.

"Of course there is, we are just getting to the actual crime, Light-kun."

Finally was the first word that came to mind for both L and Light. They loved a good build-up, but they were only human and the waiting eventually got to them. But they were stubborn, so they kept to the script.

"Perpetrator two scratched perpetrator one's abdomen and back in a fit of passion"

Light stated as he raked his nails against L's sensitive skin from his collarbone all the way down to the waistband of the jeans. Naturally, the action made L screech and roll his eyes to the back of his head, but Light ignored it all. He continued to scratch L all over his back and chest because it felt good to touch him where no one else had ever ventured to touch and because it felt as if pieces of the detective were accumulating under his nails and he would be able to carry a part of L wherever he went. This simple action of collecting evidence gave him a feeling that L was within him…other than the incredible feeling of being pounded to human pâté against the nearest flat surface. Again, that was a whole different story…

Rather than to yell at Light to stop the torture, L took it all in stride, knowing that the prickly fire licking and lashing at his skin was nothing compared to the absence of Light's touch. L liked feeling something (regardless of how pleasant or terrible it might be) from time to time because he spent so much time numbed out to the world that he was afraid he would forget to feel and somehow become even more of a stranger to this strange world. No matter how much brainpower he put behind denial, no man was an island – he needed to stay connected to the rest of the world. That was one of the reasons he was grateful for Light. The brunette had a gift for fitting in with the average people as well as with the brainiac misfits like him. L admired Light's ability to adapt to whatever environment he was put in. Light kept him grounded in all the sense of the word – physically, mentally, and maybe even spiritually – the younger man was a bridge between him and life and he was damned if he didn't cross that bridge.

"…What else happened after that?"

Light placed a chaste kiss over L's heart and dragged his lips up L's chest, his collarbone, his neck, his jaw and he stopped at his ear.

"Perpetrator one whispered the second perpetrator's name in his ear and bucked his hips against the man below him"

"Like this… _Light-kun_?"

L had invoked all the lessons he had learned on sex appeal (mainly from trial and error with Light and from Amane-san's girly magazines) and channeled the efforts through his voice; the end result was a honeyed purr that flowed from deep inside his slender chest and chilled Light right down to his toes. Light felt the thrills come back up his legs and they met head on with L's thrusts. The end result of that a magnificent disaster – L wailed and wound his fingers through L's hair, hoping his animal instinct didn't tear L apart.

"Oh, yes, Ryuzaki…just like that"

Light's parted lips looked delicious to L who was already planning a three A.M snack involving strawberry jam and those lips. The look and taste of those lips reminded him of ham on melon – the meat tasted salty and tender, but the fruit underneath was juicy, sweet and intoxicating. L squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lips as he thought about Light's lips in that way. If he kept thinking that way, Kira wouldn't need to know his identity to kill him – all the murderous bastard would have to do would be to sit back and wait for L's devious thoughts to give him a heart attack.

"Did perpetrator two rock back against number one?"

No matter how Light answered the question, whatever he said would be an understatement. Flashbacks of his own wantonness and madness assailed his senses and the flicker flashes in his mind depicted images of him writhing and calling out for L at the top of his lungs and at the end of the line. As always, Light found it hard to talk and grind at the same time.

"Yes, very much. He couldn't stop bucking against his assailant…there was too much yearning coursing through his body to stop…"

Light crushed his hips against L's as he spoke, giving the impression that he was no longer talking about himself, but about someone else. Light really had gotten into the role-playing and L was immensely glad he had.

"Do you think perpetrator one felt the same way?"

For someone like L, he moved like a thriving slut at an Easter festival. His grinding and thrusting felt like some sort of crazy infectious twitch that only seemed to get worse…not that Light minded, anyway.

"Very much so…number one was so maddened by the feelings he was having that he kissed the second perpetrator's chest several times and played with his nipples…"

Damn. Light wondered how much effort L had put into saying something so naughty. That man was probably blushing purple inside – not even Light at his most courageous would say something like that…it wasn't that naughty, come to think of it, but it was pretty dirty for the both of them – super rational beings weren't used to expressing primal desires in that manner. Something irrational could not be explained rationally.

L lowered his mouth to the very center of Light's chest and laid a series of languorous kisses right on his sternum. Light puffed out his chest involuntarily and L took advantage of his reflexes to pinch both of Light's nipples in the same way he held his dessert spoon and his phone – with his thumb and his index finger; the rest of his fingers straightened and pointing upwards. L squeezed on the small pink buds and Light's chest came off the bed in response. Light's eyes opened and the riotously hilarious image of L holding his nipples like sugar cubes left him in the predicament of not knowing whether to laugh until he passed out or scream and twist with pleasure until he passed out. A combination of both was more likely to happen and it would probably result in him passing out on the spot.

Peals of laughter were shedding from Light, his bouts of uncontrollable laughter being egged on by L's dumb expression on his face (which was, hilariously enough, cocked to the side). L looked down at the nipples as if he had never seen a pair of those in his eventful life and twisted them in his fingers like a putty or a knob on a remote control. It felt good, but it was funnier than it was pleasurable. L didn't seem to grasp the amusement of the scene and apparently took Light's laughter as an insult or something.

"I don't think I'm doing a very good job reenacting this, am I, Light-kun?"

Light realized the misunderstanding in time and reassured L that he was doing just fine. There he was again fishing for compliments no different than a self-conscious woman. Sometimes Light forgot just how childishly innocent L's mind was in some aspects…it was so cute it was funny. L's incredibly wide and seemingly empty eyes cracked him up…god forbid he actually stuck his tongue out in concentration – then Light would really laugh himself to pieces.

"You're doing…fantastic, Ryuzaki…just…perfect…"

Light rubbed L's back to reassure him more, but he was still giggling. God, he liked L – so funny. And sexy. Wasn't that what everyone looked for in a partner – smarts, charms and wit? Okay, maybe 'charm' was pushing it a bit too much, but still…

"Good. Now tell me, what did perpetrator two want from the first one?"

L spoke and Light stopped laughing. His face was still relaxed and beautiful as usual, but the laughter had ceased to give way to his desire. Suddenly, Light was breathless and each word out of his mouth was a lusty sigh.

"He…he…wanted to be taken…mercilessly…endlessly…"

Desire suffocated him so effectively that Light had to stop after each word to catch a breath that wasn't there.

"Really, Light-kun? He wanted it that bad?"

Now, that was a stupid question. It was really no wonder why L had never pursued a romantic relationship with anyone – he was definitely better off hanging on to his I.Q. Light could care less – he couldn't even make sense, so they were evenly matched in that sense too. Light simply answered instead of going through the effort of mocking the idiocy at hand.

"Y-yes…his need was just as pressing as the need of perpetrator one to possess him."

For such a simple statement, why the hell had that been so difficult?

"That is a true statement, Light-kun…perpetrator wanted perpetrator two badly as well…" L was kneading Light's sides with his thumb and index in a way that resembled a love handle recon mission. It almost tickled, but as his fingers progressed in the upward trail, more fingers joined the hunt and eventually both hands were involved in molding and sculpting light's torso lovingly.

"Would you like me to tell you what perpetrator one wanted to do to perpetrator two, Light-kun?"

Jesus H. Christ, the ravenette had gotten over his intimate shyness all of a sudden. Where were his rational inhibitions? Where were his? Light couldn't think…and he was getting used to the feeling.

"What did he want to d-do, Ryuzaki?"

Light wasn't even sure he wanted to know. He'd probably blush like a schoolgirl. L didn't even ask. He just raged on about his plans.

"He wanted to make perpetrator two twist and shout beneath him; he wanted to make the perpetrator underneath him gasp for breath and feel each and every one of his movements… He wanted to unearth the most secret passions buried in the second perpetrator and take them for himself. He never wanted to stop riding perpetrator two…" L allowed a reluctant pause to breathe and resumed quickly, "he wanted to keep going until they were no longer coherent…he wanted everything, Light-kun…everything…"

Everything? What else was there beyond everything? Was there anything beyond everything? Could he give L more than everything? Light wanted to, that was for certain. Light wondered if it would be possible for his mind to shut up for a couple of hours.

Light tore L's hands away from his sides and wiggled out of L's reach without an explanation.

"What are you doing, Light-kun?"

"Just keeping to the script, Ryuzaki…"

L's memory was insanely good, but he could not, for the life of him, remember Light getting away from him. Hell no.

"And what would that be?"

The hell he was going to let his dessert go.

"Perpetrator two pushed number one off and tugged his pants and underwear off. He couldn't contain his lust anymore…he needed to feel perpetrator one skin to skin" Light hooked his fingers on the waistband of his pajamas and pushed down his briefs and pants. The garments were off with two quick kicks in the air and they were flying across the room within the same instant.

"And his mouth on his…" and like that, L was back on his saddle, which happened to have brown hair, brown eyes and sweet lips.

"Perpetrator one followed perpetrator two's lead, didn't he? He took off his remaining clothes and climbed atop perpetrator two…am I correct?"

L's backside lifted off from Light's lower abdomen and he mimicked Light's technique of killing two birds with one stone – he pulled down his jeans and boxers with one single move, sat his ass back down on Light and kicked his legs up into the air to get the pants off. It was almost like a child on a swing – both the child on the swing and L would scream "faster! Faster!" at some point in time, but that was besides the point. L flung his pants to one side of the bed and his eyes didn't stick around long enough to see where his clothes landed. His eyes switched back to Light so quickly he could have gotten whiplash.

"Y-Y-yes…but you forgot to say what perpetrator one said to perpetrator two as he was getting ready to enter the second perpetrator…"

Light really wanted to hear L say this again. Despite the fact that it had the word 'Kira' in it, L's statement had inspired many a daydream sessions and innumerable flashbacks ever since the detective had said it. It was a threat, a promise and a cold statement of truth all the same time…all the more exciting. It was jut like playing good cop/bad cop with no clothes on.

"And what did perpetrator one say, Light-kun?"

At this point, L felt no shame to say perverted things to Light, but he just wanted to tease the younger man. He found teasing very funny. Besides, what fun would it be to say those words if Light wasn't begging to hear them?

"I quote, 'You may be innocent now, but I'm going to fuck the Kira out of you until there is nothing left but your pants and moans, Light-kun' "

Damn…he had forgotten just how deliciously vulgar that sounded. It sounded even more vulgar when L was saying it – him, of all people. Light shook his head erratically as if that silly movement would help him contain the bestial lust at bay.

"You remembered?"

L wondered why he was surprised that Light remember what he had told him. Light's memory was as good as his. Not to mention that his declaration was pretty damn memorable. Light raised an eyebrow at L, obviously noticing (another of) L's dumb questions.

"Of course I did, now, say it, Ryuzaki. Say what you're supposed to say"

L took hold of Light's face with one hand and grabbed the brunette's hip with his other hand. His eyes hardened into twin onyx stones and his breath-taking threat was uttered once again in his own voice.

"You may be innocent now, but I'm going to fuck the Kira out of you until there is nothing left but your pants and moans, Light-kun."

Light became an unmanageable mass of trembling flesh and his arms clenched around the supple flesh of L's rear. If he didn't know better, he would be sure it couldn't get any better than this…but this was just the warm-up, what led to the crime and not the crime itself.

L allowed Light a few moments to enjoy himself because the brunette's joy was his joy too – L loved watching the little bastard grovel at his feet begging and praying for more.

Then he popped the question Light had been waiting to hear for a long time.

"What happens now, Light-kun?"

L shifted himself into the position that would allow him to enter Light and stood poised, uncoiled and ready to strike. L kept his hips in check and resisted the urge to nudge Light with them, especially now that there were no fabric confines to hold either of them back. Light, the little whore that he was, kept instigating trouble by trying to impale himself on L. Since L wouldn't give in to the other man, Light resorted to rotating his hips to tease the detective. L could have given in, but he was stubborn like that. He wanted to draw out the pleasure for as long as he could…it was sweeter that way.

Light had not been lubricated or correctly prepared the first time, so L didn't even bothered to make it easier for the honey uke. From experience, L knew jam was the best lubricant available to them, but he doubted Light would appreciate him calling him a candy ass again. L was still miffed about that time Light had used ice cream as lubricant in retribution for the candy ass comment. The detective came back from his sugar-induced reverie in time to hear Light stumble through his final words.

"Penetrator one...perpetrates…penetrator two…I mean, perpetrator one…fuck…"

L gave Light no notice. The detective just pushed himself into Light, making him stiffen and whimper. The pain of being caught unaware and unprepared never ceased to sting and hurt like the bitch it was. L was still for a single second and then moved his hips back and forth in controlled movements, seeking Light's spot and his own unraveling. Every move was a calculated risk designed to cause a certain response. The word 'clockwork' came to Light's mind, but it was quickly lost in the haze.

Light wanted to say something, but gave up on trying to speak through all the pushing and grunting. All he wanted was L moving with him and he didn't give a damn about carrying on any conversations that did not involved "Oh, yes", "Don't stop", or "faster". This was where the script pretty much ended – why bother to keep talking if they could be doing?

"I understand what you…mean…Light-kun…I—do…"

With each thrust a small new earthquake shook Light to his very core and he had no other choice than to voice his pleasure, ignore his pain and welcome anything that L wanted to do to him. Each thrust made him stand down from his dominant pedestal, leading him deeper and deeper into submission and slavery to L's waxing and waning movements.

It seemed like each time he gathered a breath, L tore it from him by ramming himself impossibly deeper inside of him – it was a well-known principle of physics that two bodies could not occupy the same space at the same time; however, that wasn't stopping L from trying to prove that scientific fact wrong. Not that Light minded…sometimes, laws had to be challenged and tinkered with. And shaken.

"…Light-kun…."

His name sounded sinful hanging so dangerous from L's lips; the detective kept dropping his name incoherently and urgently as he sped up his pace and adjusted to new depths. L had perfection lying underneath him and he wanted to wear that perfection over his body like a protective blanket and a second skin.

That perfection underneath L gave him a doe-eyed look so suggestive and ravishing, he rammed himself into Light and found that curious little spot that would make the start rush before Light's eyes. Light opened his mouth wide in shock and surrender, and L took advantage of that to plunge his tongue inside that shapely rosebud mouth and suck the breath out of the exhilarated uke. L's face pulled away from Light's and found a spot to rest on the crook of Light's bruised neck.

L laid tiny butterfly kisses all along the smooth flesh and breathed in Light's heady scent. He smelled like cologne, sex and the unmistakable musk of a man. Good heavens, if only Light could see him smiling and rolling his eyes to the very back of his head…

Light was missing the heat of L's lips and sought to conquer them. When he finally captured them, he found no resistance there. L let him prod and demoralize his mouth to his heart's content because…there really was no reason there. It just was…it just felt good, right, exquisite.

"Yes…yes?"

"There was something…perpetrator one…said to…perpetrator two…during the…act…" L' chest was heaving in and out like the fluttering wings of hummingbird; the effort it took to keep his pace steady, his feelings at bay and his words flowing far exceeded his will, but he miraculously managed to get by without missing a beat. "What...was it?"

"…what?"

"Please, Light-kun…say what I…asked you…to say…"

What the hell? L expected Light to talk through the whole thing?! L was definitely crazier than what everyone had given him credit for. Light tried to punch L, but his fists fell apart and his hands gripped L's shoulders. Light dug his thumbs into the socket of the detective's shoulders, hoping it'd hurt him. That'd teach him not to talk when his mouth was full of his.

"Ryuzaki…please, just…take me…I don't want to think right…now…"

"Why?"

L needed to get slapped, and not in the ass. This slap should hurt and not be enjoyed. Couldn't that despicable man save his interrogations for another time? God, he could kill him sometimes.

"I just want to…feel…" the urgency in Light's voice told L it was better not to push the younger man too much and just let him lose himself to all L could give him. Everything…more than everything? Anything?

"What do you want me to do, Light-kun…I'll do anything you want…"

Anything? Was there anything this man wouldn't do to achieve his goals? Was L's goal to push him past the razor's edge until there was no going back? God, he hoped that was it.

"Don't take it easy on me… make me feel you…until I forget who I am…Oh, God…"

One god praying to another one? Now, that was hysterical. L couldn't let that go and made a quick note before he plunged back into Light's breadth and depth with gusto and abandon. Everything about was just so delicious…if he were what he ate, then all the apples the boy consumed had to explain the temptation he represented.

"Surrender to me, Light-kun…be mine… Give in…"

L's pace became forceful and rushed…there was little time left – he felt himself coming undone with every whimper, whisper and wail coming from Light and himself. Light wasn't helping the situation with all the petting and rubbing he was submitting their bodies to. The rapid succession of caresses and the pattern in which they happened deviated from the script, but at that point nothing was really relevant – there were no scripts, no probabilities, no percentages, no rules, no accusations…there were only promises, sweet nothings and physical comfort. Just them… just sensations rather than perceptions.

"…Yes…Ryu--…yes…"

Light's words trailed off yet again. He was trying to contract his muscles in a rhythm that matched L's thrusts to heighten the experience. Light was rewarded with L's croons and screams. The word 'reward' didn't even begin to cover the satisfaction Light felt to see L so wild and unleashed – the man was no longer the quirky misfit with no feelings; he had let the walls drop completely and he was showing all those things he had been harboring in his lonely heart for years.

And it was all for Light to see. No one else.

"Please…please…" Light begged for more of L, for more proximity, more truth, more feeling. He begged for it all and L was more than glad to oblige. L needed to get rid of all those compromising secrets of character and there was no better place to pour them into than the lovely man beneath him.

Never in his life had L felt so wanted, needed, cared for… all his heart could have expected and wanted from a partner, Light was selflessly offering to him and he was greedily taking it – there was no reason why he should share his honey-eyed uke with the world. His body, mind and everything connected to the younger man was meant for him to hold and possess. Brilliancy was a lonesome place and L found himself no longer wanting to look down on the world without anyone beside him…inside him…

L winced when Light's body went taut and terror crept into his voice. It was the voice of irrevocable climax. Light was falling from the edge of reason into the precipice below where only oblivion and sensation awaited him. A little death of sorts.

"Ryuzaki!"

L's mind was frozen, but his body was pistoning frantically to catch up to the brunette who was already clawing holes in his back and screaming his alias repeatedly. The name hung from his lips in a stuttering stream that threatened to strangle the poor Light.

L's alias sounded so gorgeous dangling from Light's mouth like a cigarette – he wished it was his real name being uttered by his lover and not an assumed name that meant to protect a reputation that didn't matter right now.

The time had come and the bell had tolled for L. Climax knocked the air out of the detective and he instinctively hugged Light's body and rode the wave for all it was worth. His autistic discomfort was burning a hole deep down, but oblivion washed over the burn and soothed it until there was only bodies and a pleasant high that would soften the comedown.

"…Light—kun--"

That was all L could say before his own little death claimed him and took him to the blank place of nothingness where Light's disjointed consciousness was floating in a thousand fragments.

(0o0)

An hour could have gone by. Maybe two or three…or maybe it had been only ten or twenty minutes. No one was keeping time. No cared to.

Light lay on his back, comfortably sandwiched between L and the mattress. The detective had his head against Light's chest and was very content to have the younger man run his fingers through his jet black hair, smoothing the unruly tresses and brushing them away from L's sweaty face. Their heartbeats had stilled considerably, but they were still riding the high that followed their encounters.

The brunette sighed contentedly as he felt L's delicate fingers trace circles on his stomach. The weight of L's head on him and his arms around him were comforting and gave him the feeling that even though perfection was just an illusion, this comfort was the closest thing to perfection while being undeniable and real.

L tried to lift his head from Light's chest, but it felt heavy. He gave up on raising his head and addressed Light as he burrowed his face against Light's heart.

"You know, Light-kun, we make a good team."

Light looked down to catch L's eyes with his own, but the detective's face was shielded by his own torso. The brunette slipped his hand from L's head down to his neck. He traced abstract patterns on the detective's neck as he pondered the meaning of L's statement and eventually responded

"I know, with us at the head of the task force, we'll catch Kira soon, Ryuzaki."

Light was truly convinced that whoever this Kira was, L and him could catch him. It was just a matter of time. However, Light's answer seemed to have confused L and the detective raised his head from its comfortable resting place.

"I was not referring to the task force, Light-kun…"

Light frowned and then realized that, surprisingly, L was not talking about work. He was talking about their private life independent of the case. Independent of his suspicions.

"You mean…the two of us?"

How could he have been so stupid? He truly had believed L was talking business – it was all he ever talked about. Getting him to be personal was an amazing feat and a milestone in their relationship…there was no way that what they had was merely an arrangement for mindless sex. If L was changing his attitude and coming out of his shell, it must mean that their interactions meant more to him than he let on. Just like they meant so much to him.

"Yes, Light-kun. That was what I meant. Just the two of us."

An honest L was not only a mythical creature (not anymore, apparently), but it was also heartbreakingly adorable… It was almost romantic.

"In here or outside?"

"Anywhere, Light-kun…"

Light didn't know what to say. He was afraid that if he said something he would either screw up or get misty-eyed. He went the safe route…

"You're opening up, Ryuzaki."

"Isn't that what you wanted, Light-kun?"

Light could sense that L was afraid he was putting himself out there too much. L was terrified of being vulnerable and Light knew it…he knew how hard it was for the detective to bond with him, much less express compromising feelings like the ones he had voiced just a short while ago.

"Yeah, I did…and it's a good thing too. You expressing your feelings makes this embrace sweeter, real. I like spending time with you like this…when the pressures of the job and everything else can't disturb us, where no one can harm us."

L tried to be sweet and placed his palm against the Yagami boy's cheek in an attempt to caress him. Light's words had struck another chord and he felt compelled to come clean as well. Light leaned into the touch and he followed the rhythm of L's lilt as he told Light how much he enjoyed his company and his passion.

"I like to spend time with you too, Light-kun…" L watched his own hand travel up and down Light's chest like a tide. "I would prefer to use this time to work on the case, but I can make an exception or two every once in a while…"

Light shook his head trying to loosen laughter from his face. Some things never changed. Thank God for small mercies. He hugged L tightly and the detective yawned like a kitten. Light smiled at the detective and closed his eyes for a few drowsy moments.

The darkened room was full of a sweet symphony of silence and even, matching heartbeats. Night was leaving them behind, eventually coming back to watch over them as they met for their midnight rendezvous when no one could watch them, where no one could find them. Light drifted away in the pleasant lull of the rise and fall of L's chest, treasuring memories and courting sleep.

The brunette opened his eyes again and forgot about rest when L called his name.

"Light-kun?"

"Yes, Ryuzaki?"

"We need to work different angles of this case."

Light raised his eyebrow and his mind plunged into a dozen thoughts and calculations of all the possible angles this particular case could be approached from. He armed himself full of feigned innocence and gave L a taste of his own medicine by voiding his face of all emotions.

"Work different angles? Fine by me…"

L's head snapped up and scrambled out bed, looking for the handcuffs to start all over again. Light giggled into the pillow and turned on his side. If L wanted him, he could come to get him.

* * *

**Author's Note:** For the die-hard Death Note fans with good memory, they will notice I used a line or two from "Another Note" just to spice things up (for those who did not catch the references, it was the thing about working different angles. I had something else as well before, but I edited it out because this thing was getting ridiculously long – it still is). I've wanted to incorporate "Another Note" into my repertoire for a little while, so I figured now would be a good time.

By Jove, the whole sex scene was so incredibly drawn out that it hurt my soul to write it and then read it – it never takes me that long to get to the point. Maybe I'm just not cut out for taking things slow (I don't have much patience if I may say so myself). However, it turned out alright, didn't it? Goddamnit, the nipple pinching L was funny. At least it was sexy.

By the way, I am sick and tired of the word 'perpetrator'. I wrote it so many times for the sake of dialogue that I don't ever want to use it again. It's rather hilarious, but it is tiresome too! But I do it all for the readers, Chip and my own satisfaction. Enjoy, review and see you guys next time. Oh! And listen to the song!! It'll be worth your while! "Between Breaths (an XX Perspective)" by Blaqk Audio. Love y'all. –Dale.

**Another Note:** Good Gods, whatever you do, don't print this out! You'll empty out the rest of the rainforest if you do so. This is like 25 pages or more…save yourself a lung, some money and many many trees. It's flattering if you want to do it, but I'm warning you it's paper-consuming… hell, it's all-around consuming, if you get my drift. Toodles.


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